


Loved and Lost and Loved Again

by LovelyCreationsWriting



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Fluff, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Romantic Soulmates, Saltmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, They really just all need hugs, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric, mortal enemies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 11:08:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20965541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyCreationsWriting/pseuds/LovelyCreationsWriting
Summary: The world was divided into four categories: Those who had a soulmate, those who had a mortal enemy, those who had both, and those who had neither. Tony Stark had, from a young age, learned to want to be part of the last group.But no matter how hard he tried, he was never that lucky.





	Loved and Lost and Loved Again

The world was divided into four categories: Those who had a soulmate, those who had a mortal enemy, those who had both, and those who had neither. Tony Stark had, from a young age, learned to want to be part of the last group. He had seen his parents names on each others wrists, written in scrawling letters. 

He had also seen what they were like behind closed doors; had years of neglect and physical abuse under his belt; and a thousand hours listening to them scream at each other, no matter how nice they would play for the camera.

Supposedly, they were soulmates, with their perfect little family, happy and lovey-dovey and all that, but Tony had often wondered if they were really mortal enemies. They had certainly acted like it.

However, no matter how hard he tried, he would never be one of the lucky ones, unburdened by names dragging down his wrists. 

The first one appeared as soon as he was born, the name ‘ _ Steve Rogers’ _ scrawled in bright red along one wrist. He used to believe that the reason his father spent so long searching for Captain America was simply because he wanted to make sure his son might one day meet his soulmate.

Eventually he learned his father didn’t really care, other than having confirmation that Steve was out there somewhere, still alive. 

Jarvis and his wife were some of the lucky ones: no names scrawled across their wrists, and still they were deeply, undeniably in love. Tony envied them for it, staring at the name on his wrist with hatred. He kept it hidden, always, a secret stashed away from the rabid media looking for a scoop.

He wasn’t sure if Steve Rogers was his soulmate or his enemy. 

He wasn’t even sure he wanted to know.

~~

He got his second name when he was 10, the words ‘ _ Stephen Strange’ _ appearing on his other wrist in a light, almost electric green.

It meant that Tony was part of the rare group who had both an Enemy and a Soulmate. He didn’t know which was which, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to.

Still, something in him felt warm when he looked at the name, finger tracing gently over the letters as he fell asleep.

~~

He didn’t know when the third one showed up, too busy fucking and drinking and smoking and whatever he could get his hands on, anything to keep him from thinking. Because his parents were dead - a car crash - and he didn’t know how to deal. Rhodey was there, a little bit, and was helping him out as much as the other man could. Then he looked down at his wrist, and the name  _ ‘James Barnes’ _ had appeared in dark blue, right above Stephen’s.

When he finally did notice, he tried to carve off the name with a knife.

~~

New York gave him two more names, something that left him unsure of everything.

In a beautiful jade green, right above Barnes’s name,  _ ‘Loki’ _ was scrawled in elegant cursive.

In deep purple on the opposite wrist,  _ ‘Thanos’ _ was written in big, blocky letters. 

~~

Tony started wearing specialized wrist guards, things he designed himself: armored, and protected against anyone but himself trying to take them off.

Aldrich Killian tried his damndest, flaunting the bright crimson  _ ‘Tony Stark’ _ that crawled its way across his wrist, showing it for all the world to see.

He seemed almost desperate to see if there was a matching Mark on Tony.

He never found out.

~~

Loki appeared in his penthouse one day, out of the blue and with no warning. He grinned and asked if Tony would give him that drink now.

Tony, tired beyond belief, gave in.

~~

He and Loki were something. He wasn’t sure what they were, but the name across his wrist implied they were  _ something _ . Asguardians had the names, but only of their enemies, so Tony didn’t bother looking for his name on Loki’s wrist. 

It didn’t matter; Loki was good company, and a good fuck, and he was charming in his own way, so it was fine. Maybe Loki would stab him in the back, show his hand, prove he really was Tony’s enemy, but Tony couldn’t find it in himself to care.

~~

Ultron happened. Thor strangled him, the team watched, blamed him, didn’t do anything. The witch muddled his mind and fucked with his thoughts and tore him apart and never even got a slap on the wrist for it.

He left the Avengers then. With Bruce gone and no one else really giving a shit about him, he decided it was for the best.

He went that day and got just a little bit drunk,  _ ‘J.A.R.V.I.S.’ _ tattooed on his wrist in grey.

The tattoo artist had been paid handsomely for his silence.

~~

Loki asked, when he saw it. It was the one tattoo he didn’t cover, and everyone knew better than to ask. Grey had always signified that a soulmate was dead, gone from this world.

Somehow, most people respected it, didn’t ask. 

Those that did had Pepper tearing them a new one with a smile.

~~

He got tipsy one night, and Loki came. He cried, hard and long, and Loki listened. He listened and comforted and never, ever thought any worse of Tony because of it.

Tony was still wondering when the other shoe was going to drop.

~~

Tony wasn’t expecting Siberia. To be fair, he hadn’t been expecting a lot of things when it came to the Accords and everything that had happened, but he definitely hadn’t been expecting this.

Somehow, he knew, he would bleed out or suffocate or freeze to death or something long before help would arrive. He hadn’t told anyone where he was going, except to contact the various governments of the world to get access in their borders. They knew he was there, but  _ where  _ he hadn’t told them. They knew vaguely what he was doing, but everyone was to avoid getting involved until such point as he gave the all clear. FRIDAY would probably send for help, but the suit had gone offline a long time ago, leaving him with nothing but his own frosted breaths to keep him company.

Part of him couldn’t help laughing at the irony of the situation, at the names on his wrist.

On one side, Steve Rogers was written in bold red, carving a line through his skin, like the line he’d carved through Tony’s suit.

And on the other, James Barnes, the person who had killed his parents. Who had killed his mother.

He couldn’t help but laugh, and laugh and laugh and laugh, even as his chest ached and his lungs froze and the pain echoed back to him again and again and again. 

~~

Loki ended up being the one who found him. He was half-delirious by the time it happened, covered in his own blood and piss and vomit and Loki stood above him muttering things under his breath, things that sounded like curses but pulsed with light, and alleviated the pain he hadn’t even realized he had been feeling.

And, as Loki banished his armor and gently picked him up, whispering reassurances and comforts even as he promised retribution and death on those who had hurt Tony. 

And Tony finally accepted that Loki just might be his soulmate.

And he laughed.

~~

Stephen showed up a week after Tony woke up from his medically-induced coma. Loki had to leave, but somehow he was still always around, always checking up. He didn’t know what was so important to Loki that he had to be gone constantly, but Tony knew he was never far away. 

But then Stephen showed up in a whirling portal of orange which nearly gave Tony a heart attack, arm bared with the words  _ ‘Tony Stark’ _ written across it in shining gold, right between  _ ‘James Barnes’ _ in a velvety blue and  _ ‘Loki’ _ in a sparkling emerald green.

And Tony just sighed and laughed and offered him a drink.

~~

Eventually, Tony forgave Barnes. It wasn’t his fault, not necessarily, even if it was still his hands. You don’t blame the weapon for the death, you always blame the person holding it. And Barnes was always a weapon.

So, with a little help from Stephen, he sent off the B.A.R.F. to Wakanda, offering his help if it was needed. He threw himself into getting Barnes pardoned, taking all the old files and figuring out what, exactly, was done by the Winter Soldier and what had been done by Barnes’ hands. 

At the end, he came out of it with a pardon with stipulations for Barnes, regular updates on Barnes’ condition, and a whole lot of therapy for himself. 

~~

Stephen eventually become a staple in the Tower, rebought and rebuilt back into Stark Tower, as it should have always stayed. 

It started with asking for Stephen’s help creating a prosthetic arm - one that would work like a normal arm.

It ended with them pressed so close together that Tony couldn’t tell where he ended and Stephen began, uncertain how they had gotten so close or why, unsure if they were arguing or if it was going to become something else, something different.

Loki laughed at both of them when he walked in, Tony trying to get the edge up on Strange, chest to chest, with Tony standing on a stool.

Tony couldn’t stop himself from joining in.

It was the first time in a long time he felt truly happy.

~~

Barnes joined them eventually, much to Tony’s amusement, Stephen and Loki’s curiosity, and Steve’s detriment.    
  
Tony greatly enjoyed Shuri live-texting him good ol’ Cap’s reaction to finding out his best friend had gotten to go home without him. T’Challa’s long suffering sigh when they got on a video chat was almost worth all the hassle. 

“Enjoying housing the strays, Pink Panther?” he asked, getting only another long suffering sigh in response.

Yeah, it was  _ totally _ worth it.

~~

Barnes settled into the compound with a strange sort of unease. 

Loki and Stephen, having been given explicit permission by Tony to approach their final soulmate, had done so with much weariness and trepidation.

(Loki had told them both, one night in the midst of winter, about the truth of his birth. Jotunn had soulmarks, apparently, and since the day they’d been born, their names had appeared on his wrist.)

Tony himself had very little interest in meeting his final soulmate, despite all that he had done to bring the other home to them.

That changed when they met in the kitchen one night, 3 AM and both exhausted, shaking off nightmares and the residual fear they left behind.

In the end, Barnes blurted out his apology - an actual apology, not one like the one Rogers had sent him - and Tony apologized, too. Barnes then told him that he shouldn’t apologize for reacting like a human being, and it went on from there.

In the end, they fell asleep together on the couch, waking up to see Loki and Stephen looking at the two of them like they were some sort of strange, alien species.

Somehow, Tony found he didn’t mind that much.

Later, when he and Loki and Stephen and Barnes (who had become James at some point in the night) were laying together, all tangled limbs and shared body heat, he found that he really, really didn't mind it anymore.


End file.
